To be an effective person in business and in life, people need to understand how to move different scenarios toward their objective. In many cases, this means “losing” the argument for the sake of “achieving” the overall goal. Easier said than done.

For example, if you want to close a deal in negotiations, you will have to inevitably give in some areas in order to come to an agreement. That’s negotiations. If someone tried to win every argument, everyone point of negotiation, that person would not be effective in the long-term. Neither would I want to be around that person for very long.

Well, life and business is a constant string of negotiations of some sorts. Compromises allow individual humans to be a collective group.

Then, how can a person be more effective in business and life? One way is to keep the greater goal in mind at all times, and constantly measure the progress of your discussions against that goal. Many times in a confrontational or difficult situation, people can react emotionally, or take the discussion too personally. They will want to prove their point more than getting to their goal. It can be a matter of principle. It can be to address a personal insecurity.

By keeping the greater goal in mind, it is easier to compromise and appease other people while still moving disagreements toward your objective. Of course, this assumes good listening skills to identify important areas to compromise.

Highly effective people learn to do this in the natural course of human interaction. They come across objective, fair and compromising.

Now, go ahead, and gracefully  lose an argument.