Friends my age are now re-evaluating their marriages, some re-committing, others bailing and still some frozen in indecision. A few of my younger friends are contemplating their first marriage.

To me the big question has never been whether to get married, but how committed one is to the marriage (or relationship)? Caught up in the moment, any legally-aged person can get married. Committing to a relationship, however, is infinitely more difficult because it’s not a spur of the moment decision. Commitment transcends that moment and far beyond.

My father used to tell me that the Western romance starts in a furious boil, then over time fizzles to a simmer until the romance eventually turns cold. He would tell me that Eastern romance starts at a simmer, but eventually turns into a boil with the right commitment to family and to oneself.

Everyone has a choice every day. You can decide to dwell on all that is wrong or missing from a relationship. Or you can decide to see the positives of the other person to the point that your feelings begin to boil again. This takes commitment to someone.

There are definitely unhealthy relationships that need more than an attitude adjustment. But there are many that just require a better perspective.

So, are you contemplating marriage? Make a decision and then make the MOST of that decision.