Admit it. It’s true.

Artists continuously challenge normal convention to come up with new, innovative expressions. They, along with  chefs, scientists, performers, and other passionate people thrive out on the fringes. We as humans instinctively are drawn to them. They are the quintessential ”cool”.

Take the stodgy world of network television for example. While regulated, every generation of new shows have been attacked by conservatives as immoral and sure to doom the minds of the young people. The industry constantly pushes away from center to the near fringes, which is the only way they can keep the attention of their audience. See, we naturally are drawn away from our center.

Can you imagine living in a society where the conservatives don’t feel threatened? That would be one bland world. Let them clamor, so we’ll know that we are really living.

The most interesting music, the most interesting foods, the most interesting art, the best experiences of our lives are on the fringe.

For me, the first taste of Vietnamese snails, French tartare, English black pudding, Korean silk worms, or even real sashimi were all “living” experiences that I will never forget. Live!

One of my sons is an adrenalin junky and a bit fringy. As a young teenager, he was arrested for jumping between the ledges of two buildings three stories high. When he played in a punk rock band, they insisted on singing a crass Blink 182 song about being molested by a grandfather. Tough to take as a parent? Definitely. Interesting? Certainly. He’s now a straight A student in college with his most conservative girlfriend to date.

My entrepreneur spirit is in many ways is a reflection of my desire to test the fringes: Take the risk and figure out a way to start something from nothing and create eventual tangible value. For me, that’s living.

Everyone has a comfortable center. From there, let’s challenge ourselves outward, farther out to the edges. Your heart might pump a little faster. Your mouth might become a bit drier in anticipation. Yeah, your life will just be more interesting.

My son during his punk rock days

Today, the multi-billion dollar industry of self-help really focuses on boosting people’s confidence. However, Paul McGee, author of S.U.M.O (Shut Up, Move On) and Self-Confidence, emphasizes both confidence and competence for success. He outlined a wonderfully simple confidence-competence matrix (below).

In the business environment, it is not likely to find many people in Quadrant One. They usually do not last long in any one particular job. They need help.

I’ve managed people, and even had friends, who fit into different parts of Quadrant Two. These people can be found in some large organizations, where competency aren’t measured clearly. In the smaller startup environment, they can be quite disruptive, and poisonous to the work culture. The reality show American Idol capitalizes on showing up people who are delusional about their singing abilities. I can be pretty delusional about my dancing moves after some drinking.

The magic Quadrant Three represents our leaders, innovators, executives, entrepreneurs and other high achievers. You know these people. It doesn’t take long to spot one. We naturally want to be around them. We follow them. We want to be like them. We should all be striving to be in this quadrant. You need both competence and confidence to build a successful life.

The most interesting is Quadrant Four. People with tremendous potential who can’t get to the next level of success because they lack confidence. Look for these types of people within your organizations to help build their confidence and unlock their full potential. Finding competent people is not easy. If you have them within your organization, then invest time into building their leadership skills and your company will benefit.

Which quadrant are you? I challenge you today to set your sights on Quadrant Three in your life and work.

But what about adults? We are all social creatures by nature. The friendships adults keep is no less important in determining one’s outlook on life than for a teenager. We care a lot more about how people within our “inner circle” perceive us than any of us would like to admit. We compete, we support, we inspire, we stifle and we compare amongst friends. In a lot of ways, we develop our identity from our friends and family.

From personal experience, I know that once I left my hometown of Tacoma, away from my high school “jock” friends, and traveled abroad, my perspective on life drastically changed. I’m not saying it made me a better person, but it did make me prioritize my career aspirations. That’s because those whom I met overseas were more focused on their careers. My desire to have status and credibility amongst my new friends certainly affected my actions from thereafter.

Today, I’m fortunate enough to know so many great people. Almost every day, I meet with people who challenge my thoughts, and sometimes even my motives. Especially as I now start a new venture, a broad perspective gives me a more clear understanding of what I’m trying to accomplish, eliminating some of my blind spots.

These friends also keep me motivated with encouragements, as well as by competing with their own ideas, efforts and successes.  They help me aspire for higher goals.

People often say networking is important and “who you know” is critical to success. I guess I’m saying the same thing in a slightly different way. You will inherently want acceptance and praise from your friends, people you care the most about. So, what is the focus of your group of friends, because that is the area you yourself will most likely focus in on? Remember we have a choice here. You have no choice on who is your family, but we all get to pick our friends.

So, yes, by all means, go out and network. Expand your circle of friends with people who can inspire and motivate you in the ways you want to live. Do it in an authentic manner, true to yourself. Then, your opportunities, and your perspective will grow as well.

Along the way, you must also ask yourself this obvious question: What kind of friend are you? Do you inspire, motivate, elevate and support those who are the closest to you?

Right now, it’s blazing hot in Seattle. I’m sipping ice tea at Tully’s and I realize that I’m not really enjoying the refreshing drink. I’m thinking about what I have to get done and who I have to talk to in the next day. I don’t even taste the ice tea.

There, that was a good sip. Um, that’s good. So refreshing and so cool. My quality of life would be so much better if I learned to live in the moment at appropriate times.

I remember when I was so tired and jet-lagged on a trip to Paris. After walking around sightseeing, I was so happy to lay in my hotel bed. It felt so, so good. Then, I realized I had to get up in 15 minutes for dinner and all I could do was stress about having such a short time to rest. After getting my blood pressure up thinking about having to get up soon, I finally decided to breath deep and just focus on how good it was to rest, appreciating each breath. Those last 10 minutes of rest was fantastic — and helpful.

Right now, like many of you, I’m juggling a lot things on multiple fronts. I really wouldn’t want it any other way because I love the challenges. But sometimes, I got to stop and enjoy each sip of my refreshingly cold ice tea on this stifling hot day — and so do you.

My father started playing golf about nine months ago at the age of 72. He’s lost some mobility due to a surgery to remove calcium deposits in his neck that constricted his spine. Nonetheless, he is an enthusiastic golfer and loves having the three of us there whenever he hits a good shot.

My brother-in-law is the youngest, although the three of us are all in our 40′s. He’s still spry and thin. He has been working some incredible hours as one of the pastors at a church in Seoul with around 40,000 members. His job is incredibly demanding. And now, he may be creating even more stress for himself as he is starting a new church in Seoul. He and our sister and their three daughters are back in Seattle visiting.

My brother and I are 18 months apart and probably started thrash-talking to each other as soon as he, the younger one, was born. We are relentless with one another. It’s always been that way. We wouldn’t want it any other way.

The hills were tough in the heat today. All three of us made sure that our father had help throughout the round with his heavy bag. He was a trooper though, he walked the full 18 holes.

Those five hours were the longest period of concentrated time I’ve ever spent with my father, brother-in-law and brother all together. Funny, it took a little white ball to get us together to see my father act like a kid again, to have the opportunity to listen to my brother-in-law ponder his future, and to compete with my brother once again. To me, that’s the magic of golf. We don’t hunt nor farm together to bond like our ancestors. Instead, we hunt and club little white balls together.

Athletes talk about it all the time, when everything slows down, their confidence peaks, and they are in complete control. I’ve actually experienced this a few times playing basketball when I just knew that I could get a step on an opponent, shoot, and know that the ball would go in the basket. It is an unmistakable  feeling.

You can be in a zone in other aspects of our lives as well. The experience is about being so focused on accomplishing a certain goal that one builds a comfort level around all related tasks to the point  where they become effortless. As confidence builds, everything just falls into place.  It’s as if you are willing the cosmic energies around you to jump onto your momentum. Now, you are in a zone. Time is irrelevant, and you feel that you are doing exactly what you were born to do.

We’ve all  seen people in a zone as entertainers, as writers, as social networkers, as cannery workers, as negotiators, as computer programmers, among many, many other ways. Being in a zone is a very rewarding experience.

I’ve felt in a zone in business as well, when ideas and the critical paths to success become amazingly clear. Crystal clear. Nothing is forced. Positive results are expected, and your confidence extremely high.

Whether in sport, business or life, however, the zone seems to gradually dissipates over time. The end usually comes when one starts to doubt, when the confidence begins to leak. We as humans usually cannot expect good fortune to be indefinite. We feel guilty if such good fortunate lasts longer than anticipated.

So, do we fall out of our zones because we cannot accept success for an extended period of time? Can we get into our zones and maintain that groove with the right mental attitude? One thing for sure is that no one has reached a zone by being timid, hesitant and doubtful.

I believe that to some extent the right attitude helps keep us in a zone. Currently, I feel like I’m in a bit of a zone with the start of Lift9. Things seem to be falling into place rather quickly. My focus is to maintain that momentum and don’t let doubt or second guessing slow it down. I want to be thorough and pragmatic, but clearly focused on my critical paths to success. I will not lose that mental clarity.

I encourage you to create your zone around your passion, and sustain it with the right attitude.

Last visit to Vietnam, enjoyed beaches & watching local fishermen

For me, work and personal life mostly overlap.

I don’t work 9 to 5. Sometimes, I’m golfing in the morning and working at night. Other times, I’m at happy hour with colleagues by 4 pm, then head home to answer work emails. I’m not so atypical, as many people enjoy the same flexible work environment.

My industry of high-tech and marketing attracts many young, urban types. So, I’ve had some of my most fun moments socializing after hours with my co-workers. Oh, the stories we can tell.

Some people like to separate their social friends from their work friends. For me, I want to form social relationships with people in my company because it makes working with them more enjoyable.

Given how much effort and time I spend at my livelihood, I want to make sure I am passionate about my job.  Life is really too short to settle for anything less. And if you are passionate about your work, how can you not let it be a part of your personal life as well? Important components of your life should be integrated. We should be living one life.

So, whether I’m being very competitive playing PES on Xbox in the office or excited to be working on a pivot table at home prior to going to bed, I’m living my passions.

I guess I’m lucky as a serial entrepreneur that I have had the opportunity to structure my jobs. When starting Lift9, I asked myself what are things that get me really excited? Certainly, the field of marketing, and more specifically the area of social media data, really, really excite me. However, having lived in four different countries, I also wanted to start a company with an international twist.

Now, I’m very excited to be traveling to Asia this weekend as part of my job. When I’m there, my life will become more fulfilling whether I’m working or not. Live your passion.