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Archive for the ‘self-improvement’ Category

Lifestyle Change, Not Diets to Make Sustainable Changes in Life, Business

Posted in business, self-improvement, tagged , , on May 2, 2013 | Leave a Comment »

So, you look in the mirror and notice putting on some weight. You want to look better, like you did when younger. Remember your glory years? What should you do? There are a lot of diet choices: Atkins diet, South Beach diet, Weight Watchers diet… etc.

While each of these diets work in the short term by generally cutting your caloric input, the best way to lose weight sustainably is to change your lifestyle. Today’s fads for losing weight are not very sustainable for the average person. For me, just the thought of dieting is a sure way to start gaining weight because I get stressed about giving up something that I want to do (eat). It would be much more sustainable to develop a lifestyle that avoids massive amounts of calories and promotes physical activities. The subconscious habits of the your day should naturally promote a healthier lifestyle. This means a more slower, deliberate change but one that has a chance to stick.

This is exactly the same for persons wanting to change other areas for self-improvement. Reading a book about how to be more empathetic may get you to be more sensitive in the short term but unless you are able to incorporate into your lifestyle (ingrained into your subconscious as a habit), your efforts will wane over time. I’ve been trying to improve myself most of my life but only a few things have really made itself into my subconscious. What I’ve learned is that a few gradual changes are sustainable while a dramatic wholesale change usually is not.

Obviously, this concept is true for business as well. We see so many new management fads and new “disruptive” market approaches. There’s already a DNA to your business and making wholesale changes probably won’t work in the long term. Identify a few key changes for your organization and work to ingrain them into the fabric of the company culture – and keep evolving your business that way.

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Self Awareness that Will Lead to Better Team Dynamics

Posted in business, self-improvement, tagged , on January 21, 2012 | 1 Comment »

Understanding one’s own strengths and weaknesses is an important step toward continuous growth and self-improvement. I’m constantly surprised at how many of my personal traits that are obvious to others always take so long for me to realize. For example, I’ve long considered myself an empowering delegator. Recently,  I’ve finally had to admit that I can be more of a control freak than an empowering manager.  A big shift in perspective I know. It just shows the different lens in which we individually see the world.

Continuous calibration of our self-perception, therefore, is important, especially for those involved in leadership positions. Still, knowing one’s  strengths and weaknesses is only the first step toward self-improvement. How we react with that knowledge is even more important.

Remember that awareness is a  key step in changing the effect we can have on a team. But we also have to remember that we really can’t change who we are at the core. Many people at a point of self-realization try to transform themselves into someone completely different, which usually leads to a disappointing or disingenuous result. If you are not detailed-oriented, it is unlikely you can make that a personal strength. You, however, can try to lessen the effect of that weakness by acknowledging it and putting people in place to compensate for that weakness – as well as making a better attempt at the details. There are other traits that are more “fixable”, such as impatience, but again, it will be difficult to really change oneself at the core.

Play off of your strengths. Recognize and acknowledge your weaknesses, and be willing to compensate for it from a team perspective, rather than trying to transform yourself into someone you are not.

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Be Vulnerable, Be Honest with Your Team

Posted in business, self-improvement, tagged , , on October 28, 2011 | 1 Comment »

In order to build real trust, a person has to be willing to be vulnerable in front of others.

This is a tough one for an Asian male like me. My culture of “face-saving” is not conducive to exposing weaknesses. I’ve had friends tell me that I’m easy to befriend but hard to really get to know. In business, my leadership style has been more based on ability to motivate and inspire than on building trust and unbreakable team cohesion. I think that is in part my inability (or unwillingness) to expose my vulnerabilities.

In my younger days, this was a reaction to my upbringing and youthful insecurities. Now, I’ve finally started questioning my desire to appear infallible to others? If I really was confident in myself, shouldn’t I be able to overcome the limitations that my “face-saving” reactions cause in my relationship with friends and colleagues? I will never be one to discuss my personal problems (other than about my children) too openly. But I will try to be more honest about who I am and my vulnerabilities. I think it will help my relationships on all fronts.

My challenge to other leaders is to look honestly at how vulnerable you are in front of your teams. That answer probably directly reflects the type of team you are running.

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Enjoy the Surprise Upgrades in Your Life

Posted in People, self-improvement, travel, tagged , , on August 21, 2011 | Leave a Comment »

As a frequent traveler, I’ve gotten free airline upgrades from time to time. If you travel enough, an upgrade can make the time on the airplane much, much better. Anyway, who doesn’t feel good when they get something nice unexpectedly?

Several times, however, I was already so tired and grumpy that an upgrade just didn’t make me feel much better. Other times, I was so busy and focused on work that needed to be done on the plane that I wasn’t very appreciative of the upgrade.

Then, there are times, on a long flight, where I feel extremely lucky for the upgrade. The whole journey is made so much more pleasant that I can’t stop miling at my good fortunate. My whole outlook on everything around me becomes just that much better. I become a better person to be around.

In each of these cases, I received basically the same thing – an upgrade of my seat. However, the manner in which I internalized the good fortunate dictated how much the nice turn of events impacted my whole aura.

In life, we get different “upgrades” all the time from loved ones, strangers and sometimes just by chance. How we let those moments impact us is up to each of us individually. Turn them into a positive that allows you to be positive back to the world.

Live appreciatively. Enjoy the upgrades.

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Affect Your Self-Fulfilling Prophecies… Duh

Posted in business, self-improvement, tagged , on April 5, 2011 | 1 Comment »

Self-fulfilling prophecies are definitely real. It is real in very facet of life. So, I wonder why some people think so negatively?

Any person who has ridden motorcycles knows that if you stare at an obstacle, that’s where the bike will be headed — probably at  high speeds.

When presenting business plans to executives or potential investors, you don’t start with the section about “potential risks”. That’s for the lawyers to review as a way of proving their value. This is not to say that one should have “blind” faith without diligent research. Optimism does not excuse anyone from careful consideration and hard work. I’m not talking about delusional fantasies. But given good information and consideration, too many people — and groups of people — focus on barriers rather than the ways to succeed.

I frequently present in public. I care about my reputation and am passionate about my convictions so I prepare well. I am also always clear to myself about my goals for the presentation and believe in its eventual success.  And  if things don’t turn out exactly the way that I would have envisioned, I try to understand the rationale so that I can be excited about what I’m learning. Eventually then, I will still succeed in the long run, therefore fulfilling my initial optimistic prophecy.

I used to ride a lot and those tight turns are extremely thrilling as long as you keep your eyes locked on where you are going rather than the possible dangerous obstacles around you. That can be the difference between life and death… or success and failure.

If you believe in the concept of “self-fulfilling prophecies”, proactively affect your prophecies in all areas of your life with diligent work, authentic passion and positive thinking.

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New Year Reaffirmation of Life Goals

Posted in lifehacks, personal stories, self-improvement, tagged , , on January 1, 2011 | 1 Comment »

For the New Year, I’m hopeful that my life will become even more simple, that I find fulfillment by what is accomplished and not by what is accumulated.

I want to be more supportive of my family and friends for what they are and not what I want them to be. I would like to spend more time with them, rather than being distracted just by my personal interests.   

I will strive to be a facilitator between people I know, and try to make life better for those in my circle of influence – with a smile, a joke, an opportunity, an introduction, a perspective, competition, or whatever.

 I will continue to challenge myself at work, at play, at home with the focus on succeeding at every opportunity, as that is my responsibility for being given the gift of life.

2011 is set up to be a special, memorable year. I’m old enough now to know that my perspective controls my reality, and I chose to be grateful and optimistic each day.

Happy New Year everyone!

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Relax the Body, Free the Spirit, and Focus the Mind

Posted in lifehacks, self-improvement, tagged , on December 6, 2010 | Leave a Comment »

The holiday season is a time of joy and celebration. It can also be a time of high stress and pressure. Extended families getting together; trying to get end-of-the-year projects finished at work; fighting crowds to buy presents. Sometimes, it can all be overwhelming.

Breathe, relax your body and free your spirit and keep your mind focused. It’s like hitting a good mogul run on skiis. You should react fluidly (relaxed body) and instinctively (freed spirit) but your mind can’t wonder. No different when you are taking a tight turn on a street bike. That’s how high performers excel. You can do the same this holiday season.

Test yourself. When you think about the holiday season, do your muscles tighten up? Is your spirit constricted? Does your mind wander from all you have to do? First breathe. Relax. Organize what you have to do without raising your blood pressure. Then, smile, and take on the coming days and create some positive momentum for yourself.

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What Type of Music Are You?

Posted in People, self-improvement, tagged , , , on July 10, 2010 | 1 Comment »

Music can effect our moods, alter our perceptions, manipulate our emotions. The music on any video can change the tone of the outgoing message. This is something we are all aware of, yet despite this awareness, it still effects us. Can you image a horror film without music to get you on the edge of your seat?

People’s energy from their attitude is much like music in the same way. We pick up on people’s “music” (energy) around us. Think about the cheery, pop type of energy. There are the calming type of energy which relaxes other people. On the flipside, there are the cacophonic energy and the high drama music. How about the teenage angst energy?

We all have preferences about what type of energy we like to be around. Depending on the situation, some type of energy is more welcomed than at other times. We have different moods that give off its own energy. But we all also have a core energy about us. Think about which music you are and how that effects a room next time you walk into a the “set of life”. Maybe then, you can, within reason, alter your tune depending on the situation and complement others.

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Everything Interesting Happens out on the Fringes

Posted in business, entrepreneur, self-improvement, tagged , , , , , , on June 21, 2010 | 3 Comments »

Everything interesting happens out on the fringes.

Admit it. It’s true.

Artists continuously challenge normal convention to come up with new, innovative expressions. They, along with  chefs, scientists, performers, and other passionate people thrive out on the fringes. We as humans instinctively are drawn to them. They are the quintessential ”cool”.

Take the stodgy world of network television for example. While regulated, every generation of new shows have been attacked by conservatives as immoral and sure to doom the minds of the young people. The industry constantly pushes away from center to the near fringes, which is the only way they can keep the attention of their audience. See, we naturally are drawn away from our center.

Can you imagine living in a society where the conservatives don’t feel threatened? That would be one bland world. Let them clamor, so we’ll know that we are really living.

The most interesting music, the most interesting foods, the most interesting art, the best experiences of our lives are on the fringe.

For me, the first taste of Vietnamese snails, French tartare, English black pudding, Korean silk worms, or even real sashimi were all “living” experiences that I will never forget. Live!

One of my sons is an adrenalin junky and a bit fringy. As a young teenager, he was arrested for jumping between the ledges of two buildings three stories high. When he played in a punk rock band, they insisted on singing a crass Blink 182 song about being molested by a grandfather. Tough to take as a parent? Definitely. Interesting? Certainly. He’s now a straight A student in college with his most conservative girlfriend to date.

My entrepreneur spirit is in many ways is a reflection of my desire to test the fringes: Take the risk and figure out a way to start something from nothing and create eventual tangible value. For me, that’s living.

Everyone has a comfortable center. From there, let’s challenge ourselves outward, farther out to the edges. Your heart might pump a little faster. Your mouth might become a bit drier in anticipation. Yeah, your life will just be more interesting.

My son during his punk rock days

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Speak with Clarity and Provide Rationale

Posted in business, management, self-improvement, tagged , , , on January 21, 2010 | Leave a Comment »

Communication is something we often underestimate. That’s how marriages often get into trouble, as well as most projects in the business world. We know how to speak the same language, yet we often miscommunicate.

Over the years of managing various people, I’ve learned the first step to better communication is acknowledging that people communicate differently. Some people naturally embellish, or are vague with words but emphasize nuances. Others are literal. Even within my family one of my sons is very literal and the other very much not. That causes a lot of tension.

One thing that is common, however, is we all want to be understood. In order to effectively communicate across a broad set of people, you must speak with clarity AND offer rationale. Sounds simple, but what a big difference this can make.

When I tell someone that he did a good job, smile, and walk away, the person may feel temporarily good because the statement was positive.  But what if I had said that he did a good job in getting his team to work cohesively in meeting a difficult project deadline, and as a result the client will renew our contract?  This compliment would be much more impacting as there is clarity in his mind of what is being appreciated.

Clarity and providing rationale usually help in all tense communication situations across the different personality types. One time I had run 18 miles in training for a marathon. Afterwards, my family went to a dimsum restaurant but was seated in a corner where the servers couldn’t easily see us. After 30 minutes, I got up and made a huge scene to the complete embarrassment of my family. Regardless of my rationale, I became a jerk in everyone’s eyes.

Had I gotten up and explained to the servers that I had been waiting for 30 minutes, which seemed a bit unreasonable, and it would be greatly appreciated if we could get some food despite being seated in the corner, I think anyone around me would have respected my request.

At work, in the home, with friends, don’t just throw out one-line bombs without clarity and rationale. Speak with clarity and provide rationale and see if your communications skills improve, along with your relationships.

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